A Special Sunday! A mixture of great sorrow and joy!

Well, I had planned that Sunday, November 4, will be a special day for me, and special indeed it was … but in a very unplanned way! My nephew, Luke, received the Sacrament of Confirmation on Sunday morning. Then, three seminarians, Leonard, Charlon and Reuben, together with three religious students, were ordained as Deacons in the Parish Church of Mosta in the evening … I was planning to follow the ordination through live-streaming … unfortunately, it seems that the upload was very weak, so I barely could follow it from here! Watch this link: Ordination of Six Deacons. And it was the feast of the great shepherd of the Church, St Carlo Borromeo. It was a day when I wished I was in Malta to be with my nephew and with these friends on the great day of their ordination. But God’s will was for me to be here in Jerusalem.

Ordination the Diaconate at Mosta Church: the joy of six new deacons
(Photo [by Valentina Lupo] from Facebook Page of Rev. Leonard Mintoff)

In the morning, right before Mass, I was on Facebook trying to catch up with some friends. At a given moment one message puzzled me: let’s pray for a young priest who has left us suddenly this morning! What?! Who? What happened? Thousand questions flashed into my mind! I was desperately looking for an answer. I was chatting with someone who mentioned to me that we need to pray for Fr Rene’ and his family. Immediately, I began to compose the tragic picture. I went into the website of The Times of Malta and there I found the first account of a tragic accident on the way to Zejtun where a young priest (still unnamed) lost his life. I was completely distraught. I had to go for Mass, because it was time. My heart was broken. I offered Mass for the repose of his soul, our dear Fr Rene’ Cilia – a 27 year-old priest, ordained one year and four months ago. I prayed also for his mother and his two brothers and for Sr Bernadette, his aunt, and all his family. I prayed for the Parish of Zejtun, especially the young. I prayed for young priests in Malta. So many deep thoughts! The sorrow was really deep in my heart.

Fr Rene' Cilia -- passed away tragically on Sunday morning

After Mass, I began to make some contacts. Although I began to understand a little bit the dynamics of the accident, the more difficult questions remained and, I should say, became more abundant? Face to face with darkness, with unanswered dilemmas! The big question: WHY?

At a given moment, I was consoled reading an sms Fr Rene’ had sent to a young member of the Society of Christian Doctrine in Malta, Abigail Pace. It is a beautiful sms which speaks volumes of who Fr Rene’ was, his great love for Jesus, his awareness of his own fragility, his surrender into the loving hands of the Lord. This is the sms, first in Maltese and then my translation in English: “Mulej Ġesù, mit-12-il appostlu li għażilt, ħadd minnhom ma kien perfett, u baqgħu jaqgħu fid-dgħufijiet anke wara li wegħduk ħajjithom. Minħabba dawn id-dgħufijiet tagħhom, int ma keċċejthomx iżda apprezzajt imħabbithom aktar minn kull nuqqas ieħor. Taf Ġesù li jien dgħajjef. F’qalbi però għandi mħabba għalik. Uża imħabbti bħalma wżajt l-imħabba tal-appostli; uża imħabbti għalik biex tqarreb lili u ’l ta’ madwari dejjem aktar lejk.”

“Lord Jesus, from the 12 apostles whom you have chosen, none of them was perfect, and they continued to fall in their weakness even after they have promised you their life. Because of these their weaknesses, you did not cast them away but you appreciated their love much more than any other failure. Jesus, you know that I am weak. In my heart, however, I have love for you. Use my love as you used the love of the apostles; use my love for you so as to make me and others around me closer to you”.

Fr Rene' and myself at the Seminary
(Photo sent to me by Abraham D'Amato)

This was Fr Rene’: a priest in love with Jesus, and thus, a priest in love with the people whom he was sent to serve. A priest beaming with a deeply-rooted joy! He was very much aware of and sincere about his weaknesses. He wanted to be as transparent as possible of God’s love for his people. He used to tell me how much he loved to preach the Word of God and to make himself available for the celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He used to speak to me about his desire that people, especially the young, come to know of the personal love that Jesus has for them. He was enthusiastic about his ministry. He was full of love and full of desire! All the Facebook comments (and elsewhere) are a proof of this. He was also in love with Ethiopia, with a plan to return there next summer (he was there for his experience in the intermediate year during his formation, and he returned there last year after his ordination).

Yesterday, the Lord brought me (because, again, I had not planned it!) to the Ethiopian Orthodox Church here in Jerusalem. This place reminded me of Rene’ and I stopped again to pray for him, for his family, for fellow priests, for the parishioners. It was the only place we found open on our Sunday afternoon tour (the Monastery of the Holy Cross, the Knesset, and the Ethiopian Orthodox Church, and the Russian Cathedral).

Ethiopian Orthodox Church in Jerusalem.
Fr Rene' has a great love for Ethiopia

The Word of God that came to me yesterday was this: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12, 24). I am sure that this tragic death of our dearest Rene’ will bear a lot of fruit in the hearts of many. That is my deepest prayer! May Rene' becomes a model for all priests and may his sacrifice attracts young people to Jesus.

One thing which I did not like yesterday was the return to such phrases as “God has plucked up a flower from earth to plant it in his garden” and similar phrases. I hate them! They are NOT true. As if our God is an egoistic god, who forgets about our happiness, and thinks only about his. As if he wants himself to be happy and we distraught! I know that whoever wrote them has nothing of this in mind, but I believe that this is the indirect message we give! NO, OUR GOD IS A LOVING GOD and I want to continue to believe this even in the present very tough circumstances. God is suffering with us. He is embracing us in our deep sorrow. He is embracing Rene’ and assuring him that He will be taking good care of his mother and brothers and family (because I believe, knowing Rene’, that he is worrying a lot). He is embracing and consoling and weeping with those who are mourning Rene’s loss (God has a lot of work to do!). Our God is, yes, a powerful, omnipotent God but He is also a God who, very often, chooses the way of vulnerability, weakness, smallness to manifest himself. God is a mystery. Life is a mystery. There are questions which remain unanswered! What we need to do – and I believe Rene’ from the Father’s loving embrace is inviting us to do this – is to surrender ourselves and make ourselves docile, joyful instruments in the hands of our God and Shepherd.

A message on Facebook from my friend, Fr Jonathan Farrugia (who is in Rome studying), wrapped up the day in a significant manner. This is my free rendering of what he wrote: In the sorrow (and in the joy) of this day there is something which really became evident above all else: the solidarity among us priests: we were all distraught, we were all happy. Not only those who are in Malta, being ‘close’, but also us who are abroad, being ‘far’. All of us cried for the loss of our brother this morning, we were all happy with our six brothers who were ordained deacons in the evening … But, is it only sorrow and joy which bring us together? I do not think so … there is perhaps something deeper that binds us together … something which we could take for granted in a way that we barely remember its existence. I am referring to the Sacrament of Holy Orders. When the Archbishop laid down his hands on our head, he was not only ordaining us, but he was quite literally moulding us together. A priest has died … we did not cry only because he was with us at school, at university, because he was our colleague, we cried because he is OUR BROTHER. Six deacons were ordained … we rejoice with them not only because they got to this point, but because they now form part of our family. Although we need to face sorrow as it is, let us thank God for all that he has given us in Rene’: an example of a priest with a free spirit, who was joyful and full of energy … and we thank Him that, now, that he has passed from this life to the new life, he may become an icon of joy that is the fruit of one’s total self-gift to God and to His people. Let us learn, dear brothers, to appreciate more one another because we are on the same journey … because we are in this all together … because we are all BROTHERS.

Amen. A special Sunday … indeed!